How to Easily Compose a Stellar First Text to a Girl
Picture this: you’re at the bar and you meet this gorgeous girl. You go up to her and talk a little, and you manage to get her number. You guys totally hit it off and have a great night. But, the morning after, you’re staring at your phone with a blank new message to be sent to her, as you’re completely clueless as to what to say on your first text to a girl.
Oftentimes, we find ourselves completely unable to compose the first message. I for one think it’s because we overthink and overanalyze what the person we’re sending the message to will think of what we said. We put too much meaning behind what we’re conveying. And I think, the mere fact you’re reading this is because you’re in the exact situation right now.
Thinking of what to say in your first message is a piece of cake. Things should be short and sweet. Here are a few tips on nailing the perfect first text to help you keep the conversation going.
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Ditch one worded messages
If you were aiming for a boring exchange of a couple of words per text, by all means type “hey” and press send.
In school, we were taught that whenever we had to write anything – be it an essay or a short story, your introduction needs a hook. A hook is a sentence or statement that (quite literally) hooks or piques your reader’s interest and coaxes them into reading more of what you want to say in whatever you’re writing. This is applicable to how we start a conversation as whatever you put on your first messages determines whether or not the person will still be interested in talking to you in the future.
Say for example, you send hey, they’re most likely gonna respond with a “hey” back. That’s already the start of a dry conversation! As much as possible, you want to give the person something to comment on to keep the conversation going.
Add personal touches
The best feeling in the world is getting a text from someone who was thinking of you!
Again, we’re trying to avoid dry conversations. By putting something that reminds her of your encounter when you met or something memorable (this applies for when you’re trying to rekindle your relationship with someone), and it’s guaranteed that they will feel and know that you were definitely thinking of them and that you want to see how things are going on with them at that moment.
If you’ve just met her and you want to text her, you should go with something around the lines of “hey, this is (your name). I had such a great time last night! I’m still laughing at that joke you made about dildos” and “hey this is (your name)! I found that perfume you were raving about and just had to check it out. I get the hype!”
Those sorts of messages are genuinely something that would make her smile and be eager to reply because with that, she knows you were paying attention.
Now if you’re trying to hit someone up after a certain period of time without talking, the best way to go is to send her something that really made you think of her. For example, if you guys spent a lot of time together in a coffee shop, you could send a photo of it and say “I passed by the coffee shop today and it made me think of you! How have you been?” Or, if you guys did a certain activity together, you could hit her up and say “I still have the flogger we bought together way back when. Wanna give it a go for old time’s sake?”
Women are sentimental creatures. Use this fact wisely, and she’s guaranteed to stick around for a long time!
Use emojis – but choose them wisely!
Texts are a form of non-verbal communication. With technological evolution, the human race has found a way to make non-verbal cues such as smiling and frowning visible in texts. Today, emojis are such an important part of texting and showing expressions through your messages. That’s why choosing the right emojis play such an important role in conveying a message you want to send.
For example, if you want to keep things cool and casual, definitely avoid all heart-related emojis. These include the hearts (all colors and interpretations!), the heart-eye emoji and the smiley one with hearts surrounding it. Opt for smileys and winks because it offers a more flirty, confident vibe as opposed to the hearts. There’s a big difference when you use the hearts and the smileys. “I enjoyed meeting you last night 🥰” and “I enjoyed meeting you last night 😏” have two completely different feels.
If you want to be more sexy and daring, emojis have your back! It helps build the emotion of the message. For example, you want to tell her that you can’t stop thinking about how hot she was last night. Texting “I can’t stop thinking about what you did to that sexdoll last night” leaves an impression, but adding emojis takes it to a whole new level. “I can’t stop thinking about what you did to that sexdoll last night 😩🥵🔥” hits different.
Also, in using emojis, mind the amount of emojis you use. I think 3 emojis for 1 message is perfect. You wouldn’t want to overdo it. But if you’re trying to exaggerate a point or an emotion, by all means go ham! The amount of emojis you use also helps in conveying what you want to say. For example, “I can’t stop laughing 😂” is fine, but typing “I can’t stop laughing 😂😂😂” is more expressive.
Ask interesting questions
Questions are a great way to keep a conversation going. It is in fact, the key to getting information out of someone. But, beware of questions you ask because sometimes, it leads you to a dead end.
For example, asking her “how are you?” is a good way to start things off. It’s playing safe, but it’s good. Although you have to have something to keep it going longer because she’s definitely going to reply “hey, things are great. What about you?” and if you’re gonna reply with “yeah, I’m good” you hit a wall. Bring flowers along with you because you just hit the wall where your conversation died.
When you ask a question like that, make sure to have a back-up question to keep things going. Think back to what you were talking about when you met, or what she was wearing or bringing. Again, women like it when you notice things about them. Instead of just saying “how are you?” you could opt for “hey how are you? I saw you were holding a Kindle earlier, what are you currently reading?” or something along the lines of “it was great bumping into you in your coffee run. What kind of coffee did you get?”
The more information you get from her, the more things you are likely to talk about and more things you’re able to open up. Women love knowing that you listen to them, so keep the interesting questions coming.
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BONUS TIP: Don’t reply with dry messages
There’s nothing more frustrating than having to think of what to reply to a dry message. Odds are, women wouldn’t even want to reply to that message anymore.
When your first conversation is in full swing, don’t reply with dry messages. First of all, it puts off the mood of the conversation. It’s like laughing your heart out and just stopping mid-laugh. When you send messages like “lol”, “hahaha”, “that’s crazy” and “that’s nice”, women will pause and think “what can I possibly reply to this message?”
Avoid sending monotonous messages like those stated above because to be quite frank, they’re boring as hell and they just make you want to not reply and end the conversation. Keep things as flowy as possible.
Your first message is key to setting the tone of how things will be like in future conversations. Make sure you’re confident and having a great time.