How to Get Rid of That “Never Had a Girlfriend” Vibe 

FACT: we were all born single. We were all born to look for a partner, a significant other to “make our lives less lonely.” But for men, they have this “never had a girlfriend vibe.“ Some people just had the best strokes of luck in finding their partners at a young age, while others are late bloomers. 

Admittedly, I am one of those late bloomers. I started trying to date at 17 and now at 24, I’m still in the dating pool. With my 7 years of experience with dating. I’ve gone on dates wherein the guy was an hour late, and I’ll never forget the instance wherein the guy I dated had to borrow my phone to call his mom to tell her that he was “hanging out with friends” and that his phone had died. 

It wasn’t all bad for me though. Although, I quickly discovered that there are some men who give off that “never had a girlfriend” vibe. It’s the same with the “can’t keep a long, constant relationship” vibe but less toxic.  

What gives off that vibe, you ask? Here are a list of things that I noticed: 

They don’t know how to speak to women 

It’s been a long-running joke that men are simpler creatures compared to women. Unfortunately for some, I’ve encountered this, this has been a cemented fact of their life thus far. I remember one man who couldn’t stop twiddling his thumbs and couldn’t keep eye contact for more than 10 seconds while we were talking.  So obviously he has this “never had a girlfriend vibe.“

Communication is the biggest factor in trying to woo a woman. In fact, it’s the greatest factor in trying to be a better person in general! Bill McGowan’s Pitch Perfect is a great book to read or listen to if you want to learn more about how to say it right the first time, every time! This book has been very beneficial for me in my college days as I studied communication, as McGowan tackles things from being on time all the way to how one should dress right for all occasions. 

They don’t own a decent shirt 

First impressions matter – especially on first dates! The personal style of a man tells a lot about his personality and lifestyle. 

never-had-a-girlfriend

Say for example, you decided to meet for lunch at a local cafe and he walks in wearing an old t-shirt and some jeans. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just that it implies that you got out of bed, chose the first shirt on your t-shirt pile, put on some jeans, chose a pair of shoes and called it a day.  

Gentlemen, please avoid doing that. Give a little more effort with how you dress for dates because how you look directly affects how your date thinks they are of importance to you! Ditch the musty t-shirts and opt for clean button-downs or polo shirts that say I’m ready for today! 

RELATED ARTICLE: ONLINE DATING TIPS: FIVE-STEP GUIDE TO MEET A WOMAN

Take note, this doesn’t necessarily mean having to buy expensive clothes and accessories for your wardrobe. What I mean by this is matching a good shirt with nice-fitting jeans and a clean pair of shoes that goes with your entire outfit. Look in your wardrobe and try to mix and match your clothes for certain occasions. By doing so, you’ll soon realize what type of clothes you have and what certain articles of clothes you lack. In addition to this, you’ll learn more about your own personal style and you might even break away from your everyday style and try something entirely new! 

The clothes they wear are unironed 

Something worse than a lack of style is the presence of wrinkles on an unpressed shirt. Your expensive button down doesn’t look impressive if it isn’t ironed, sir! 

Nothing is more impressive than a man who knows how to iron his clothes especially when you have this “never had a girlfriend vibe.“. Everyone has to have an iron at home. Not knowing how to iron isn’t an excuse, because hand-held steamers, a literal god-sent piece of technology exists! All you have to do is load it up with water, let it heat up and with a push of a button, watch as the wrinkles on your clothes disappear. 

Again, first impressions are important. Showing up to date – or any event, really – with an unpressed shirt or unpressed jeans directly affects how people see you. It’s evident that you don’t know how to use an iron, but it would be easy to imply that you don’t necessarily care for how you look and for the things you own. Assumptions like this are easy to make once you’ve paved the way for people to think a certain way. To think, all those comments stem from an unironed shirt! 

never-had-a-girlfriend

Or worse – unwashed 

Let’s face it, we’ve all experienced at least one or two “I forgot to do the laundry” mishaps. But, going on a date with unwashed clothes is just a big no-no. A general rule of thumb is if you can smell yourself a little, odds are the person sitting next to or remotely close to you can smell you a lot! Do your laundry unless you want to have this this “never had a girlfriend vibe“ forever

never-had-a-girlfriend

My advice, invest in a good, high-quality washer that washes your clothes hassle-free. If you live in an apartment and there just isn’t enough space to let your clothes air dry, this dryer does the trick for you! With 5 temperatures, 14 drying cycles, and 12 drying options, your clothes will surely dry up real nicely just in time for your dates. 

Their apartment is a mess 

Imagine this: you had a great date, no red flags at all, and he invites you back to his place for a few drinks or coffee. He opens his door and BAM – you walk into what looks like ground zero of a war of some sort. Dust mites, empty take-out food containers on the table, and a couch that could barely be sat on with all the clothes laying around.  Like this is one of the reasons why you have this “never had a girlfriend vibe.“

That scene just screams “I expect someone to pick up after me.” 

never-had-a-girlfriend

Red flag number one? Definitely. Is it avoidable? Absolutely.  

By keeping your trash in the bin, you keep your surfaces clean and the smell of garbage in check. No one wants to walk in an apartment smelling like last week’s rotting dinner! In addition to keeping the trash away, keep your floors clean by investing in an automatic vacuum! Just switch the vacuum on and let it clean your floors on its own. 

For an additional personal touch, keep a scented candle or a diffuser laying around just for backup. Women love walking into places that smell nice and clean, it adds to the comfort and a great ambiance

If you do one or two (or all, no judgments!) of these things, take this as a wake up call. Let me get one thing straight though: these are based on my experiences with men and aren’t necessarily true for all women. Although, all advice I gave will probably be highly appreciated by your potential dates! Applying these tips to your day-to-day life might just help you get the girl and feel good about yourself. The truth is, these tips are things that would help you feed your confidence.  

RELATED ARTICLE: DATING ADVICE FOR MEN

Confidence is the key to being attractive. Nothing screams sexy like confidence! To women, a man who knows what he’s doing and is 100% in it is sexier than a man who screams “HELP ME!” The “Never Had a Girlfriend” look is something that screams “help me,” and in this day and age, no woman wants to be a rehabilitation center for men who can’t get their lives sorted out. 

Take this as constructive criticism and perhaps brighter days are ahead for your love and sex life!