How to Message On Tinder and Perfect Your Profile 

Finding dates has never been easier with the presence of dating apps like Tinder. With a few clicks, you’re a few swipes away from setting a date with that hot chick or that gym buff. Having a problem with how to message on Tinder is normal.

Setting up a Tinder account is easy. You could link your Facebook or Gmail account to it and then just pick out your preferences (i.e: age, distance, and your sexual orientation). After that, you could go on and choose the pictures that you want to use for your profile and set up your bio. You could also add some of your passions to your profile to give more information about yourself to your “market.” 

At first glance it seems easy enough, right? But did you know that little things like the photos you choose and the things you put on your bio can directly affect how many matches you could get and how (and if!) your matches reply to your messages. 

Before we get to how to message on Tinder, let’s focus on how to get your profile right. 


Curate your photos 

A picture is worth a thousand words – so choose your photos wisely!  


On Tinder, the first photo you see on one’s profile is the make or break for whether or not they want to see more or less of you. It’s your virtual first impression, and of course, we want to impress! With this, I suggest choosing a photo that really encapsulates your personality and makes you stand out.  

How? I suggest for the ladies, choose a photo of you wearing a very flattering top or a nice dress. For the men, I suggest a picture of you wearing grey sweatpants and a nice slim-fit shirt to accentuate your body. Accessorize your outfit with a good watch and a little jewelry. Remember, the main objective is for people to want to look at you and get to know you more! 

In addition to this, the succeeding photos have to “tell a story” of who you are. Think, “what do I like doing?” and “what fully encapsulates my personality?” and then add on to your first photo. A good 4-5 pictures would do. You want to give your potential matches a little sneak peak into your personality, don’t give away too much! That’s what the conversations are for! 

But, please don’t upload pictures of things or landscapes that don’t feature you. Some people upload pictures of anime characters or cars and whatnot instead of uploading pictures of themselves. People tend to swipe left on them because it’s a tad suspicious. 

Keep it short and sweet 

Just like a CV or a resume when applying for a job, people get a bit bored when things get lengthy.  


Here’s the thing: what you write in your bio is crucial in trying to make conversation with people because it helps them figure out what you would want to talk about and things to avoid talking about. Keeping it short and sweet makes it less boring to read and frankly, more intriguing. 

You want to write something along the lines of what you’re looking for on Tinder and things you like doing. Something along the lines of “I am a bookworm and I love reading books like The Man In The Mirror: Solving the 24 Problems Men Face and Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness” or “I love watching movies while cuddled up in bed. Swipe right to earn a spot on my bed!” are cute bios to have.  

Avoid oversharing! You wouldn’t want to come across as someone who causes information overload. You have to remember that Tinder is still an app filled with strangers on the internet. Not everyone you see there is a friend. 

Generic passions aren’t generic 


In choosing your passions on Tinder, generic passions aren’t as plain and generic as they seem. Passions like drawingcampingbaking and quite literally anything under the sun are things that some people have a general interest in and can talk about for hours! 

When you choose your passions, you’re also filtering out people you want to interact with. Typically when you’re swiping away on Tinder, you check out their passions to see if they match with yours. Odds are, when others are doing the same, they check out your passions as well to see what you’re interested in. 


Now that we’ve covered the grounds on building and curating your profile, you’re ready to swipe away! Obviously you’d get matches, now let’s talk about how to message on Tinder.  

Ultimately, you want to get a date from Tinder – that’s the end goal for every match you have. In order to have the remote chance of getting a date, you have to shoot your shot in your match’s DMs. Here are a few tips on how to do so.

Ditch the “Hey” 

It’s no secret that you’re on Tinder to score a date. Sending a simple “hey” feels like starting a short-lived, plain conversation. Be a little bit more creative with how you send your first message. Aside from your photos, this is part of how you make your first impression to your match!  

Ditch the hey, and go straight for something interesting. Check out what they wrote in their bio or what they put up as their passions and make something up about them. 

Say, for example, they wrote “I’m the best at choosing the take-out order.” You could write “I’d love to test out your claim on being the best at take-out orders!” or something like that. Be playful and light, you want the conversation to flow easily and casually. 

Slow and steady wins the race 

When trying to start a conversation, try not to be too straightforward or too intense. It gives off the vibe that you’re needy and pushy, probably even a pushover. Again, you want the conversation to go smoothly. Being intense just ruins the vibe and the overall flow of the conversation. Chances are you’re driving that match away.  

A great tip is to just enjoy and be casual with the conversation. Take things slow and just get to know your match a little before going out on a date with them. Feeling out what they are as a person just helps you with figuring out if you’d want to take them out or not. With this, you’d be saving yourself from embarrassment and avoiding wasting your time. 

Straightforward is admirable, over-sexualizing isn’t 

Complementing your match is always a good idea to get on their good side, but mince your words when doing so! Being straightforward with what you think is admirable, but the line between complimenting and sexualizing can be very thin. 

There’s a huge difference between being straightforward and sexualizing. Being straightforward means you’re open to talking about or pointing out things you like and you don’t, while sexualizing is putting malice on anything and everything you can. It’s alarming how people think sexualizing a person equates to a compliment. Sending messages like “great tits” or “that’s a big package you got there” translates to you being creepy and generally, a person to avoid in any and all forms of communication.  

Avoid sending messages like those, unless it is appreciated by your match. The key to this is consent, and not making people feel unsafe and creeped out. 

Now that you’ve got great tips and tricks on how to message on Tinder and perfect your profile, you’re ready to swipe away! Stay safe and good luck on your Tinder adventures.